Content note: discussion and graphic description of a rape
He goes by the name Mateo now, but his full name is Matthew Maldonado. He is a MMA fighter and last year he spent ten months in jail because he and another man allegedly raped their inebriated Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) teammate in a parking garage after offering her a ride home. They left her unconscious on the cement ground in the middle of a Washington DC winter. The account was caught on a security camera and the endeavor shook the entire BJJ community.
According to reports:
“The men took her to the St. Matthew’s Center parking garage instead, police explained, where surveillance cameras captured Maldanado raping the woman and Shultz joining. After Maldanado left, police said, the tape shows Schultz raping her repeatedly. She told police he said at one point, “I am sorry. I am a sick bastard.” Detectives said the woman claimed she had been raped, but it wasn’t until they saw the tape, that the extent of the allegations emerged.They wrote of the alleged attack ‘She fell backwards…striking her head against the wall…later struck her head again…and noted she collapsed to the ground…several times…her head again hitting the ground.’”
Mateo was later found not guilty of all of the charges brought against him: first and second-degree sexual assault and kidnapping. His not being found guilty does not mean that he did not rape the young woman, it was just that there was not enough evidence to convict him. There is such a high level of proof that is needed to convict a rapist that it is not surprising that he would not be held accountable if he were guilty. Since his release, he has moved back to NYC to live with his family. He is now a member of a new gym – MY gym.
I had developed a relationship with Mateo before I Googled his name and seen what he was accused of. He and I had trained together; we had even flirted with each other. He was at my tournament and he hugged me good luck and told me if I needed someone to be in my corner during my fights, he would be there.
There was a lot of shock and emotions that came along with find out about Mateo. Mostly, I felt sick. The statistics range that 1 in 4 to 1 in 6 women having been victim of sexual assault. Therefore, unless one lives under a rock, there is a high likelihood that a person knows someone who has experienced this form of gender violence. The impact of assault ripples to the victim’s family, friends, and other acquaintances and can result in vicarious trauma. I have come into an unfortunately large number of survivors having been an active member of the Women’s Resource Center at my alma matter and a mentor for other women surviving assault. Furthermore, I have my own history with rape. When I saw Mateo for the first time since my “discovery,” I had a visceral reaction caused in part by my personal history and other women in my life who had been victimized by men. I wanted to hit him. Hurt him. Make him suffer. Instead I started laughing and tearing up, which I think is because my subconscious had no other way to cope.
Needless to say, navigating this relationship has been challenging. Making it more so is Mateo’s entitled attitude. He had since spoken publicly to the team where he stated that the girl he allegedly raped was known for being easy and sleeping with other members of the team. He has acted as if this woman’s life, which has most likely been greatly altered by this event, is not to be respected and slut shames her in attempts to make nice with his new team.
I met with an older teammate, a mentor of such, to assist me coming to terms with this newfound information and difficult relationship. When we met, we discussed the situation and that, in no way, does Mateo come out looking like a halfway decent guy. And despite this fact, he is at our gym and the women are going to have to find ways to feel safe and to ensure that others feel safe as well. Towards the end of the conversation, she said that I have three options: 1) completely ignore him and act like he does not exist, 2) talk to him and let him know that I know his history and that I would like space from him, or 3) buddy up to him and follow the theory of keep your friends close and your enemies closer. The reactionary part of me wanted to pull him aside, tell him I knew of his past, call him a slime ball, and to fuck off and to never speak to him again. But the reasoning part of me countered that this was only going to be a temporary fix. I was still going to see him every week and my ignoring is going to give me no more control over the situation. If I continued to have a relationship – it would be on my terms and I would be able to dictate it would more forward from here on out. Additionally, it would also allow me to keep my eyes on him and ensure that other women at the gym were safe and felt safe.
Now that I think about it, I think that Mateo and I are going to be the best of friends.
What are your thoughts – dear readers. What would you do if you were in my shoes?
Disrupting Dinner Parties 
Oh my gosh I have absolutely no idea. What a piece of garbage.
I’m afraid for you, but impressed by your resolve.
He will undoubtedly try to rape again since his experience has taught him he can get away with it. I hope that you have some means of quickly capturing proof as you stay in his vicinity (a go-pro? a responsive cameraphone?) and are able to contribute to stopping him the next time he assaults someone so he’s unsuccessful. And then I hope NYC can lock him away.
I don’t know what NYC’s laws are like, so if you don’t already know, you may wish to check with someone who has local legal knowledge about what sort of evidence would be needed to lock up scum like that.
ugh.
I am frankly horrified that even with video evidence he was not able to be convicted. What has to actually happen in order for a rapist to be punished? The testimony of the victim should be enough, video evidence should be undisputable. My mind is officially blown 😦
Anonymously send a link of the video to everyone in the gym?
Print out the details, news articles/video capture of what thiss asshole did with a note about who he is and tape it in the bathroom stalls of the women’s locker room? There’s less of a chance of people finding out it was you this way.
If you’re braver about breaking the law then I am spray paint ‘rapist’ on his car (wear a burka and walk from a few blocks away in case the gym has security cameras). Bring a bottle of piss and dump it on his gym bag if no ones looking. Send a bunch of pizzas to his house from a payphone. Steal his phone and post the rape video/ news story on his own Facebook page and write I am a rapist and this is a video of my crime on his status.
This story makes me sick. I’ve had five people I know raped in my life (one a boy) and none of them reported it. If you can’t even get a conviction with video tape I can see why. There’s nothing I hate more than a rapist.
I like the idea of taping a memo/news article of this guy to the back of the bathroom stalls in the women’s room.
I’m glad you found this information and have been able to share it with at least one other person there. I’m disappointed that this mentor put the work back on you – telling you to ignore him, or confront him, or buddy up to him. In your place, I’d certainly feel responsible to do something with what I knew – and you did that, by telling someone who seems to have more power in and knowledge of your community. I hope this mentor thinks things over and wants to be more proactive herself.
I want to be sure I also say what’s obvious, that you didn’t create this situation, it’s a consequence of this Mateo’s bad behaviour and bad decisions, and it’s shitty that his behaviour is stressing and affecting you with its fallout. That’s an outcome of his bad actions.
I found an article about discussions of this and other situations like it in the BJJ community, so there’s certainly precedent for people wanting to discuss the way the community reacts to this kind of thing. http://deadspin.com/what-happens-when-teammates-rape-a-teammate-1460111117
If I was in your position, I’d want to know where people in my community stand on this kind of thing in general, and I’d want more people to know about what I’d learned so they could make informed decisions. I’d expect people I trust would want to be a supportive, safe team, and would join me in not wanting to help Mateo develop a stronger body and better skills at personal combat.
Have you considered talking with more people who are connected with your BJJ club about either sexual assault in BJJ communities, or about this situation in particular? Like maybe people who you know well enough to know they’re inclined against victim-blaming and slut-shaming?
Once I knew other people there agreed that this guy was not someone they wanted to train with, I’d want to bring the topic up with the head of the gym.
I’m hesitant to include this part, because I hope your community would decide to reject the idea that he’s not responsible for his actions, and instead support creating a place where people can train with people they actually trust… but if I found my community would support the assailant, I would let people know very clearly why I was leaving and go find a different place to train.
It is very hard not to see a person as the actions they’ve committed, but it’s true. There are bad choices, not bad people. As someone with a personal knowledge of sexual violence, and a connection to this person who has committed sexual violence against someone else, you’re in a unique position to show him what the effect of this violence is. Make it human. Give him a chance to see how a real live woman lives with having been a victim, not just just his one dimensional idea of “that slut” who he can joke about to friends. Give yourself the chance to see how someone can do something so fucked up, and what it takes for them to learn why it was wrong. Learn. Grow. Reclaim your safety.
With respect, I completely disagree. Why is it her job to educate and “fix” a deranged, violent man? It’s not. Who knows what he is capable of, or what other violence he has committed towards women? He just got caught this time.
Btw, I before I posted things about messing up his car, etc that I regret. Those are mostly fantasies about what I would like to do to rapists. I don’t regret it because he doesn’t deserve it, but because this man is loose in society. Who knows what he could do to the author if he caught her.
Just to add to this, for people in the BJJ world (especially in the DC area), there’s an instructor in Maryland named Morgann Paraskevas who is a straight up predator. I have personal experience with him. Steer clear, please. And feel free to ask me to delete this comment if it’s out of line. I just want people to be safe.
Hi – this reply is to Adrian. I just came accross this blog/article by accident – disturbing! But just curious why you would post this comment about Morgann in the DC area? I have been around and hung out off and on with this guy outside and inside the BJJ academy for 20 years. My experience with him and from people i know around him (even women) has only been positive. If your post is substantiated then i understand but it is not, that’s not cool for him.
Looks like he’s got a domestic violence/ child abuse charge from a few years back, plus some other stuff. I informed Fernando Yamasaki, we’ll see where he goes with it.
http://casesearch.courts.state.md.us/inquiry/inquirySearch.jis
I am actually Morgann Paraskevas’ neighbor. And i cannot tell anything positive about this guy. We communicate to all neighbors in our neighborhood and say hi to each other, but he is like an outsider – does not greet anybody, head always down. No one from the neighbors ever said a good word about him. He is exceptionally rude and unpleasant. A few of He is around 45 years old at least, but he had seen this beautiful girl who does not look older than 20 years old. While he was seeing her, i saw him with other women around, saw him kiss the girls on the parking lot. But that is his business – i could care less about his personal life. We have a lot of problems with him as neighbors. He has showed up at our doorway one day demanding that we stop walking because he hears a lot of stomping. We do not stomp, in bed by 9 usually, so can’t really bother anyone if we go to bed so early. We tried all we could to be nice neighbors – redid the floor even to please him, wasted 7 grand – he is not happy. He wants us to fly or something – i wish i could fly! But he has been banging on the ceiling every time we have a guest or i make a harder step when i rush to the baby or something is running on the stove. I recently delivered a baby and he has been turning on the music very loudly to purposefully wake the baby up, he is talking very loudly at night, turns on the music loud and leaves the apartment. We called the police multiple times, complained to the HOA – nothing helps. He almost burned out apartment – he is using his fireplace day and night during the winter time and many times our apartment has been full of smoke; we had to call the fire department. This guy is sick – he is the pure evil. Keep away from him! I would not recommend him as a trainer either – because he has some anger management issues. Be safe everybody.
I wish I had known about your experiences with Matthew and your blog here sooner! Would love to chat about all this sometime. You can find me by googling me. Good luck.
Wow, cant believe you’d even consider staying at the gym. Any gym that allows someone like that does not foster a culture that I believe in when it comes to BJJ.
I am so glad I came across this tread. So much of what was written in the blogs was misinformation. As the father of Mateo I can only say that I was hurt when I first heard the news and I could not believe what just happened. Angry as I was I wanted to beat the shit out if him myself.
Only after speaking with him and hearing him out did I even agree to support him. I waited for the initial hearing to see what he was being charged with and mostly to see the video first hand. Mind you, I didn’t know at the time, the rift between some MMA media outlets such as Sherdog, deadspin, a few bloggers, and Team Lloyd Irving.
Leading up to this night, my son was training with TLI (team Lloyd Irving) for less than 2 months. We would speak on the phone from time to time and he would tell me about the high level of competition and the different houses that the athletes were assigned. A week before new years I had asked if he was coming home. Mathew being the dedicated person that he is wanted to stay in Maryland so that he can keep training for his upcoming matches in Florida. He didn’t want to lose any training time.
New year’s eve he set out to the bar with two friends. They met a few of TLI members at the bar and started night off celebrating. During the evening several things went down that an outspoken former Texas assistant prosecutor (Georgette Oden) refused to believe. By this time we, meaning all the folks that were present at the hearing, view the video. Not Guilty! Done.
I don’t need to describe what is on the video. The only version that anyone accepted and publically published was the one from Aaron France. A total fucking liar and TLI hater and supporter & instructor of an ex affiliate of TLI. His recollection of the video was that they carried her into the garage and pulled off her pants (didn’t happen). He then goes on to write….. Ask yourself if this was your mother, your sister, or a close friend….., Okay. Cool. Now do you think that the jurors who saw the video, and were provided other evidence of the case have a mother? Maybe 8 of the 12 have a sister? What about the women on the jury themselves, did they have a sister or a mother? Did any of the jurors have a daughter?
I am throwing this out there because it’s all BULL SHIT.
Jenny Talia, you should do your research. Like you said. You trained with him and even flirted with him. He said that he would be supportive of you.
I am so sorry that you are listening to these hate mongers and can’t see through the BULL SHIT!
I have good Reason to not like Mathew and his family.. they are arrogant But he did not Commit Rape.. The alleged Victim went to a night club with her Police Officer Boyfriend after breaking up with her boyfriend that night she buys herself drinks and she becomes very intoxicated, It was new years so the alleged rapist Mathew and shultz also drank and become very intoxicated …. she runs into Mathew and they all deicde to leave together because they live together in the same dorm at the school where they all trained.. At the parking lot where they parked all parties mentioned had a sexual encounter. It was caught on tape.. The sexual Act became a rape in question? The question the Prosecution ask is this : WAS THE VICTIM TOO Drunk To Consent For Sex? If Yes then The law considers it rape … But Rape couldnt be proven because there is a strong possibility she Consented for to sex all though she was drunk then she felt embarrassed after the fact because she discovered by the authorities which means her boyfriend Police officer would find out about the sexual encounter so she panicked and possibly Claimed rape.. In any case her ex boyfriend the police officer testified against her .. bottomline As women when we are vulnerable and feel rejected by our boyfriends sometimes we have sex with other men who gives us attention and then we regret it ..especially since there is a stigma for women when we have casual sex.. So sometimes we claim rape in order to come to terms with our actions